So I wrote last time that I was going to a singles dance. I mentioned that my expectations were low, that I thought there’d be a lot more women than men, blah, blah, blah.
The upshot was: I did NOT meet any potential Mr. Rights, but I did have a good time. I danced. I met new people. I drank a few adult beverages and did a LOT of people-watching (one of my favorite hobbies). I was wearing makeup and a skirt. (Since I started working from home a few years ago, my daily attire is quite casual. OK, I’m often dressed like a slob. After all, who’s there to see me?)
But Friday night, I was looking (and feeling) pretty good! I’d shaved my legs and curled my eyelashes. Chosen jewelry that I don’t normally wear. I was even flashing a little cleavage.
Was I – am I – desperate to meet a man? No. Was I – am I – open to it? Sure.
There’s a big gap between those two attitudes. A lot of unmarried women of a certain age recognize that gap, and feel the same way I do. We are happy with our lives. We feel fulfilled. We do things we enjoy, and we do them with people we like.
That doesn’t mean that we have closed the door forever on the possibility of a meaningful relationship with a man. It just means that we are living our lives to the fullest, and not waiting for Prince Charming to show up.
The dance was an enjoyable experience. The turnout was good. Both genders were well-represented. The dj played a few too many slow songs and line dance songs for my taste, but I got to dance plenty. If it wasn’t with a man, it was with the two female friends who came with me. They didn’t meet any Mr. Rights, either, but they had a good time. Laura did get asked out – by a very nice man. He was about a foot shorter than she was, so it was a non-starter. I know height differences don’t mean much to some people, they do to others. We’re all entitled to our deal-breakers. Some day I’ll tell you about mine.
So, share. Have you been to singles dances or mixers? What’s been your experience with them? Do you think women have fewer or more dealbreakers as they get older? (I know in general, I take a lot less shit than I used to.) Are you single, and do you regard that as bad thing? A good thing? Something to be fixed? Or something to be relished?
Would love to hear what you think.
And, a request. Two requests, really. Please “like” The New Old Maid Facebook page and “follow” @TheNewOldMaid on Twitter. It’ll help me get my book published. (“The New Old Maid: How Happily Unmarried Women are Defying Spinster Stereotypes.”) Thanks.